1. |
Shattered Saturn
04:15
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bedding on, why don't you stay now?
i got a long time coming & you got away
something in else that gets you grey now
& i got a lot of focus for the broken ballet
since it's a saturday, i'll be on
& when you go, it'll be over in a second
& the wreckage is a dead end
& the only air that i've been listening to yeah
is the ambience of empty rooms yeah
since it's a weekend, i'm gonna do what i want
out there is a field let's hope our house is a shield
the cold hasn't come but we'll keep our cracks sealed
& while some wait for some good to blossom
what we got isn't a problem it's odd pollen
look at us now we're imitating birds
keeping to ourselves & we're travelling
on a long blue worm, sleeping in ourselves
while the semester's unravelling
so that was a gratitude check
that came to fruition in ignition in a wreck
maybe my sky it is so vast
because all our stars expand and collapse
at a rate so flirty and fast
i asked what had happened & if any time had passed
& this happened after my car crashed
out there is a field let's hope our house is a shield
the cold hasn't come but we'll keep our cracks sealed
& while some wait for some good to blossom
what we got isn't a problem it's odd pollen
why are you pulling me aside to seep
in my sides i hope that you fell asleep
ever undressing a darkness
that dawns from our fear like a process
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2. |
Skinsplitting
04:04
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i am as futile as the fingers i own
i have a lot a little places that i don’t like to show
& when my grey mind is waterfalling like may this be love
i cross my knees & genuflect my head & erase the glove
i’ve been working all year to manage the temptations there
but every time i think it’s paying off my feelers don’t care
we’re running out of the bandages cause i dress myself in ‘em
i’m cutting the tips because it’s weighted with venom
i want to free myself of peeling
& have them be pearly
it’s a young habit, i can’t have it
know that the sound
gets a very hard frown
maybe stop if it’s for girlie
it’s a raw routine,
but i just can’t kick it clean
skin is sinking like
the confidence that i have
the link between when i extend
my hand there to grab
when i was on mass
i could not reach for the flier
had to hide it rapidly beneath attire
i am as futile as the fingers i own
i have a lot of little places
that i don’t like to show
& if my habits contain
a refrain of bleeding a flow
my body will fight it
& i’ll bite it ’til i finally grow
& when i’m figuring out the words
i gotta take a trip to the sink
because the puddling of the red dye
lets me know it isn’t pink
but i don’t care about the consequences
but i care what you think
the uncertainty is making me do these things
without conceding a blink
when i was knowing nicole
i didn’t peel away
maybe it’s because i had
a baby that would feel away
then now i’m sewing a hole
even when i heal okay
lazy to discuss my bad
they’re achy, don’t reveal today
i want to free myself of peeling
& have them be pearly
it’s a young habit, i can’t have it
know that the sound
gets a very hard frown
maybe stop if it’s for girlie
it’s a raw routine,
but i just can’t kick it clean
skin’s still sinking like
the confidence that i have
there’s a link between when i extend
my hand there to grab
when i was on mass
i could not reach for the flier
had to hide it from katie beneath attire
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3. |
While They Shoot Sharply
03:23
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sharp shooter really shot my eye
from the other southern country she's from
but lively ivory thought to take some time
thought it's time to take me 'till i go numb
why not jive around with five at a time?
it wasn't hard to unwrap the gift
but i was sure to keep the bow on
from the pale bay that cannot drift
from the coast even though there's no swan
why not fuck around with nine in a night?
disemburden myself with thoughts & clothes
tilt my cover up & sun my nose
pull myself together from my impulse pose
fix my tie & tie apartments on my toes
we talked on the fouton cause there will be blood
as we didn't kiss i felt me grow old
from all the days of vagary & lust
what's the fun in doing what you're told
i won't walk around with flocks, but i might
& all the fervor that i gave to my brain
recently has had me draping atop
a phase that's further made my psyche stained
today i slept & hoped for phenomenons
i'll just jog amongst the fog in my mind
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4. |
7x This Mourning
02:53
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giggling baby teeth, hands holding
my head's tunneling the colors of everything
take it from our eyelids, truth in salmon sun
do you really want to mean this much?
do you really want to mean this much?
the walls of my stomach are blind
just calm down down down down, crying to the floor
i picked some curious for you tomorrow
spread my body all around the blanket on my head
our shoes are bubbles already laid down
do you want to mean this much?
the walls of my stomach are blonde
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5. |
Said, Smiling
03:10
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these, these words
are in watermelon, melon, melon
sugar, sugar
these, these words
sugar
you said, you said
“now, now, now,
i’ll read at ‘lips away,
lips away, lip, lip, lip’”
“eternity in an hour.”
“if you can’t see it,
then you’ll just never know it.”
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6. |
||||
i’m not seeing you, adios
i’ll tape through the champagne,
drinking going through
i’m not seeing you, adios
every love leaves
everything feels like eyes
i’ll always think of you
i’m not seeing you
in every hour
i’ll never think of you
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7. |
Feels to Feel Sure
02:42
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you saw halls & fallen glass
my eyes don’t feed me
& where you know some love
i’ll be cousin number one
i left iceland because of time
i spent time to know time with you
i’m not sure of how
it feels to feel sure
& now i’ll take time to find it
i'll know, know... i'll know, know
i'll know, know... i'll know, know
i spent time in cinemas today
with two cronies i didn’t meet today
& another other invite
that i should not
have extended to a friend
did not say
& i’m spinning & beginning to wonder
if the wonder is a way to get your own
wonder
then i came to lawrence
saw my fridge
& i could believe what was pinned to it
an invite to a marriage
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8. |
Picture Prison
04:02
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arms knitted into your shirt
so you can fight back all your hurt
i descended the strange staircase
as a levy freed itself upon on my face
& a cocoon of twenty years
wrapped itself around both tears
& the disconnect has us hidden
in a half-the-people-are-dead picture prison
& i can’t remember the last time
we cried together
was it when we spun the freewheels
& tightened the tether ?
cling to whoever wants to be clung to
she said as i focused in on the circles
that showed when they were young too
so does every other family change
& drift & be delirious & estranged
i’m sorry your sundays aren’t identical
& you spend them alone so hysterical
& you fought back water as i loaded the reel
but the taste of letting me down was what you could feel
killing all the currents to drown out sinking
take a walk back from the son ask me what i am thinking
but the farewells to all our mothers
are shattering and fracturing the reason that i moved
the sensitivity as you shake at the knees
just let’s me know it hasn’t improved
& here i am in a picture prison
seeing all the beings in a casing who are missing
& here i am, i feel an apparition
seeing me stare at the wisdom
as my eyes are blurry without a vision
& here i am, i keep my feelings hidden
seeing you blank by the kitchen
made me tie us up like a ribbon
& here i am, i feel my feelings give in
seeing your face turning crimson
& your eyes begining to glisten
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9. |
Sun in Your Jaw
04:31
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you're not afraid to die & it makes me scared
you sat in your car in the cold so impaired
i was in a cathedral watching superficial
& your soul was cold dying in the thistle
you wrote a note crying in the evening
some never read words highlighting grieving
i was in an apartment, the wrong reasons screaming
& you were to the side of the road, not feeling, freezing
& i'm gonna help you out
if you feel like all the light is in a deluge
i'm gonna call the line just a little bit more for you
when you're losing your grip on it, don't withdraw
pull the moon out from your tongue
& put the sun in your jaw
& when your body is laying there, whirring on
disregard the distance and don't worry, mom
don't follow him, don't follow him
thanking my sister that she was with her, forty phonecalls
speaking to police, not sleeping in sheets, following the protocol
her whole earth was set for "better worth" by morning
not leaving a letter or any sort of warning
& i said i'd help you out if you felt like all the light was in a deluge
i didn't pick up the line or return it, that's how i do
but i'm well aware of all the defects
& i'm apprehensive of all it's effects
apology to my subjects
when you're losing your grip on it, don't withdraw
pull the moon out from your tongue
& put the sun in your jaw
& when your body is laying there, whirring on
disregard the distance and don't worry, mom
& if you're worried about the weather
whether you're anxious or not
your heart it is a faucet
let love blossom turn it on
you've moved your room numerous times
it's time to wipe the woe on your skirt
you're living with what you used to be
do you see how it hurts?
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10. |
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god lives like love in the skin & soul
of everything you can no longer see
i’m breathing eon-old air
writing noise to fill the void where
your voice used to be
i held our breath for you this morning
suffocating us until we no longer hurt
who am i looking for
in the bodies of strangers?
tell me why i think i’ll find
fragments of you
in people i’ve never met
i’m gonna do my best to ignore
empty chairs in this room
i’m having dreams where you’re
shaking me, begging me,
to wake up & everything
is covered in blood
everything i just said
i read again, it’s just kind of like
when i’m making my mind
& i decide 99 times
i almost didn’t go to bottleneck
cause i knew you’d be in the room
but now you’re blooming in my own room
wooing you resumes, fuck the adieu
we engage in ways like yellow lights
we’re not breaking in the lane
we remain to drive
every time we ride finally decide
to guide our vinyl tires to the other side
right now it seems people mix collapsing
with telling you that you can’t really say
what they have always done, for someone else
to fuck purposes means that i’ll think of listening
to mixing everything a little bit more than
distancing from when we were interesting
i’m more like little light nifty six-ounce clouds
& i like it a lot & i back them into
something i don’t have to talk about to enjoy
the cracks in her voice are so cute &
spontaneous that i forget that she is foreign
because of how much sense i feel from her
everything i just sang
i heard again, i think that i might
be a little bit crazy, am i going crazy?
i’ll be alright
in the literal way i had never considered
all the honey in the sense that
something really isn’t happening
thinking about, it she’s wearing
tiny pearl necklaces all over me
[we engage in ways like yellow lights]
without even trying too hard
with the prettiness entering her life
[we’re not breaking in the lane
we remain to drive]
she just swallows what is nice to the teens
& the way she talks makes my spine
[every time we ride we finally decide]
laugh & my tongue tingle
i don’t think she learned english
cause she speaks to my eyes
[to guide our vinyl tires to the other side]
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11. |
Chasing Tape
04:49
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we laid with a bottle moving back & forth
that was in between its parents
& its parents dealing with divorce
& as the bottle was nowhere near the cork
the flatness of the mattress
made the madness sever at the source
& the memories of our other
months make movies
& the reel keeps chasing tape
of what its played making
us inside woozy
& if you feel like firing the director
for feeding four year films in a projector
look inside, look inside detect the nectar
the forever’s on fire
all that we wanted was to remember our former
like futures that view at a past that’s warmer
your text was wet like a teen dream order
that’s left to forget a guillotine horror
we laid tangled in ourselves
speaking ’til we slept
& before the eyelid movies
took our lenses to the movies
so we could reflect
you said i could do what i want
& i knew just what you meant
you meant that anything that
happens out of passion is alright
so i thought about it when you dreamt
but the comfort of a comforter overcame me
& then a lapse of reality wrapped what little
body it embodied over covers of sheets
but then the next thing that i realized
there wasn’t any air between our five eyes
but then i felt down to your wrist
& i guess i missed, all on the rind
[all that we wanted…]
when i’m old will we still go on our strolls
& when you’re older will you be someone i hold
when we’re older will we look back & be cold
or when we’re older will we feel the warmth of a soul
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12. |
The Hours
01:54
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send you the words
could be hours for you
so i called it for now
break me
run stuff up
we go up for
it's the hours we wait to breathe
oh darling, we don't talk of many things
why am i honeymooned through all of these screens?
you are some real feels, real feels
how it feels, it feels
it's the hours that wake us, wake us, wake
we're wondrous, wondering now
i'll take care to you
it's the hours that melt me, melt me anew
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13. |
Blondly Funs
04:22
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seventeen pages later
why do i still feel the same?
three years to the day
well i hardly know your name
your nature can turn quick to a flame
for a while you were mine
but you’ll never be my dame
so i got swallowed up in blondly funs
for that i don’t regret
& everything that wasn’t meant
you took too hard & wept
so daydream of waterfalls
of beauty & baguettes
the illusion we lived in was a bittersweet vignette
& now we’re here, except you’re not here
turnarounds we own, untogether is our name
& that is both years
raw october there in the midst of a hood
bicker & fight every other night
we’re aren’t good for long times
& i got swallowed up in blondly funs
for that i might regret
& everything that wasn’t meant
you took too hard & wept
so daydream of other ways
of other ways of beauty & brunettes
the illusion we got out of
was an unwound cassette
your hair is long, not long enough
to make me feel again
to fake around forever dens
that things like this don’t end
maybe when we’re both cats
our new forms make amends
now i’m drawn to always be
your imaginary friend
blondly funs are finally done
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14. |
Often Poppies
03:51
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take air out of my lungs
& let me taste your tongue
walk on & promenade in
while i’m nodding off on my skin
melting in my own steps
for the best i’ve never met
drinking in the dreams
that still seem like reveries
disintegrate, evaporate
when i gape
even though i only viewed
you for a small space
but i did some questing through webs
for the apex of faces
& i found the brilliance of a soul
that i knew i could taste it
battlin’, i’m mad in line
i cannot write the other one
be mine
i don’t want to sit about
& wait ’til a monday
you grew to a bouquet
& that half smile
creates ways to play it’s innate
solid sweaters on my stairs
barely only bare
all over, just let your hair
crawl on my top
& i’m free to feel your fair
intimidate, intoxicate
when we speak in other/under ways
i cannot haze it out
when i see you in a small space
when i did some questing through webs
for the most floating graces
i think i made an illness in my head
& i can never taste it
javelin, i’m dead inside
i can’t write the other one, i’m fine
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Ben Dipper Lawrence, Kansas
Ben Dipper is the brain-child of Lawrence, KS based musician and songwriter Ben Snook (Miki Moondrops, In Vivid, Sighs). His new album, Jostle the Tangle, was released in 2022.
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